Chronic rejection- the fight is on.

So I promised more posts about training as a spoonie and I promise there will indeed be! In fact there is a mass of scribbles that currently need to be deciphered so you can all understand my jibber jabber. But I have a couple of personal blog to write...

One about my amazing experience at Pole theatre Uk and the other which I wanted to share with you all today.

For those of you who follow me on social media sites you will already know. Here it is for those who don't along with some more thoughts and feelings.

See my lung function has been dropping over the last 2 months, it is down by more then a litre. Sounds a lot, that's because it is. Iv been back and forth to the hospital where I am currently. Iv had several bronchs and finally Wednesday came. Crunch day. I knew they had to tell me what was wrong then and there it was. I'm starting radiation therapy. I asked if there was diagnosis with this. O.B otherwise Chronic Rejection.

I held myself together and said ok, thinking of everything that had happened before but also calmly reminding myself that not all chronic is the same and that actually although I had had a large drop in lung function it was not as much or as quick.  My lungs were at the best possible lung function they could be before this, so my lung function is still relatively high, that means we have one thing we didn't have before. Time. 

I am strong mentally and physically and in a very pragmatic place. I'm looking at all the research, planning how to manage my business and finance. My biggest worry was telling everyone. Telling my husband, my nan, my sibling and friends. Mostly I felt sorry, sorry they would have to hear this scary news and face this battle again. I hate them being upset and it's what hurt the most. I tried to tell them in the least injuring way possible, reminding them that this is a different situation and that I'm going to beat this but I knew once the words chronic rejection their brains would go fuzzy and anything else I said would be like a distant echo. 

So I'm to start radiation therapy as soon as possible, today I go home while I wait for my appointments. For me obviously I'd rather start immediately but that's not possible so I'm going to use this time at home to get organised for when I come back up. Try to see all my friends who are now fearful that they might not see me again and remind them they aren't getting rid of me that easily!!!

So Iv always wanted to raise more money for Harefiekd hospital with all they've done for me and I decided that I might Aswell crack on with this so I created a virgin money giving site. This is for all my friends family who wish to do fundraisers to put all the money in one place and for those who have asked if they can donate money to show support can now do so. I appreciate everyone's ongoing support, if anyone would like to raise money for Harefield then please feel free to email me kirstietancock@icloud.com

http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/KirstieTancock1

Here's some pictures from my stay, trips out with friends and time with my hubby as we celebrated 5years of marriage yesterday.