Saturday 29 December 2012

Oh what a lovely Christmas and here's to a happy hopeful new year

My Christmas, well what can I say. I started work at next over Christmas and it has been great, hard, crazed but great. I loved the buzz of being busy and not having time to over think silly things. I worked hard and it was repaid with A perm position of up to 20hr a week. I feel less stressed about people not turning up to pole lessons already and I'm enjoying teaching.

My Christmas Day, well it was everything that to me Christmas is meant to be, that life is meant to be about. Family. I spent the day with my nan, grandad, stu, mum and her partner ash. I had a roaring laugh, helped mum out with the dinner, played games and felt the joy of giving them all presents which I had thought long an chard about. The joy of there faces lightning up. That to me is the best, but I was of course royally spoilt and I am very grateful, but my Christmas would have just been as good just for being with my family.

I can't tell you when the last time I really had such a nice Christmas, it really just felt special.

Which brings me on to a special family and a special person who will always have a place in my heart, soul and mind. My donor and there family. I hope my donor had a splendid Christmas wherever they are up above, shining on us all. I also hope my donors family were able to have a great Christmas, knowing there loved one isn't far. I once again cannot say how grateful I am my donor signed the register and there family also choose this decision with out them I would not have seen this or the last Christmas and all I can do is wish them love peace and happiness with every fibre of my being.

I now look toward the future, a future of opportunity, fun and not wasting one second. I have so many plans for my life and I am now going to take hold and live them. I hope to start my career in presenting in 2013, to have a proper holiday, in fact to have a few, to not forget or neglect my beautiful family and my gorgeous husband for where ever 2013 year takes me and I hope that that is far, I will be taking them with me.

I wish you all a happy new year, I wish that all your wishes and dreams come true and I wish 2013 will be the year my friend Kerry thorpe gets her call because she will not last much longer without it. Xx

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Wednesday 19 December 2012

Harefield, fundo operation, Neil and thought for Kerry

I have been rather quiet everywhere, on Facebook, twitter and even here. I have needed some breathing space time to just be me. I have to say I think it's worked, I feel so much better inside myself. I have thought about my life inside and out. I started to think about what I actually wanted and what was stopping me, in conclusion I decided I didn't want to live this life where I'm struggling for money, bored out my brains. I came up with a ultimate career goal and smaller ones that will help me get there. I decided I love teaching pole and love pole but as a main career it's to stressful, people cancelling on you all the time, never knowing what your income is from one week to another, it was zapping all the fun out of it.

Thinking about what sort of lifestyle I want, what makes me happy and what I enjoy, I decided I would like to be a presenter, I think my background in media has prepared me for the highs and lows. I have contacts in this industry and thinking about all the different aspects of presenting there's not many areas I don't like. I mostly love public interest stories and journalism side. So to get to my main career goal I have lots of little goals, first being, get a part time job on top of pole to supplement my low wage, well done that, I start of Friday with a temporary contract with next in women's wear, which I'm looking forward to. Next goal, a portfolio and show real, both of these I'm organising. Then there's also contacting all my contacts which iv done and had some feed back from. I know this is going to happen over night but I know I can do it.

So other things I've been up to, Iv been up to London for Harefield check up where everything's all well, I was prescribed a drug for nerve pain that's been agony, but good to say that's all sorted. I also had a appointment at st Mary's for a operation I need, I have had bad reflux for years, before transplant and now after, so they have decided to do a fundoplication, basically wrapping the opening of my stomach with flesh from the stomach, by pulling it up and around.

This is a very common operation post transplant. It's done through key whole and is a minor op. unfortunately mine may not be so minor, it turns out that due to various stomach ops I have had micolium isleus and appendix, I may have a lot of scar tissue, they think this because of all the blockages I get that the scar tissue may be one of the reasons. If they can't do it through key whole they will make a scar from the bottom of my sternum to my belly button. A substantial scar. I was devastated to be honest, I take pride in my body and my looks, I don't think there's anything wrong with that, I have near 40 scars now, I get over them each time a new one appears but for some reason the idea of this one really upsets me. I hope that it doesn't come to this. It's strange though my transplant scar never bothered me.

While I was up there I took the time to catch up with friends and saw Neil who's doing amazingly and on the last day I said goodbye had the best smile on his face. Transplant is no easy journey but when you get to where your going its amazing.

This is a picture of the scrap book I made Neil, it's one of the hardest and best presents iv ever done for anyone, following his journey from his call to when he gets home, leaving him space to put other stuff in. There's spaces for firsts, first Christmas, golf game post transplant.

All my Christmas decs are up and I've been baking. Feeling festive.

I'de also like to leave you with one last thought, while your wishing
for those pair of jeans for Christmas, or new straighteners. My friend Kerry thorpe is wishing to make it to Christmas, she is wishing for her call to come. Without that call we don't know how long Kerry will survive, so when your making your lists for Santa please make sure you fill out the organ donor form and get all your family to, when your making your Christmas wishes, make one for Kerry. She is now suffering regular respiratory arrests, I went through many of these and I cannot express how scary they are because you are literally staring death in the face.

Stay strong Kerry we are all thinking about you xxx

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