Saturday, 5 April 2014
Leaving next
So for a while iv been struggling on and off with fatigue, unfortunately more so lately then not. I'm still trying to keep up my gym routine but the last two weeks iv struggled more then ever. I struggle everyday I go to work. I feel faint and weak. It all came to a head when I had a cold after another cold work just got harder and harder and despite my store manager doing everything he could to help. There just seemed no way I could carry on my job and fulfil my role that I'm suppose to do and there seemed to be no other way the job could accommodate me any more then it had.
I have a chest infection currently and will most probably be starting Ivs if I'm no better by Monday.
So still trying to go on despite bad fatigue, which made me collapse on Thursday, I went off to work this morning and realised I just couldn't do it anymore. I have a lot of time off and never feel better, the anxiety of turning up to work, knowing it would make me feel awful. I just couldn't do it. So I sat down with my store manager and told him I'de like to hand in my notice. Not something I had done lightly. It had been on my mind for a long time and I just couldn't keep going.
I don't plan to sit around, I still want to work and earn my way in the world and I'm hoping I will be able to start teaching pole again soon, something I can do when I'm feeling up to it and I only have to teach an hour at a time then I can break and rest. I can organise my lessons around me. I can't sit around, it's just not me, but hopefully some time off will give me chance to get whatever's making me so tired sorted. The doctors think it's ebv. A virus that you can't get rid of but can be dampened down. I'm also not resigned to feeling like this forever and will get my energy back not matter what.
So my last day at work is next Saturday. I'm so grateful to my store manager and all he did to try to help. So I look forward to teaching I pole again and also I'm still working toward my public speaking and tv presenting career which is taking off with my first paid speaking job booked in!
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I know how this feels. I tried to work but couldn't manage it, it was one day a week, 6 hours, and the amount I was shattered after was ridiculous. And this was when I was 18 with 80% lung function. I did nothing else all week except a Saturday college course (which wasn't exactly taxing) so I didn't understand why a simple job exhausted me so much. I don't work now cos I seriously doubt I'd ever find a boss who'd be happy with me taking more sick days than work days a month, so I made the (apparently sensible) but boring choice to stay at home and work on housework, cooking etc and looking into volunteer stuff to keep my brain working. I just wish so much I could work and feel like I'm contributing to a household income and have a better social life (one would hope) from it xxx
ReplyDeleteKeep going Kirstie, you are an inspiration to us all.
ReplyDeleteThank you :-) I certainly will!
ReplyDeleteI love you blog (it's inspiring!) and hope you get better soon.
ReplyDeleteI feel bad for asking this: but could you please change your font as it's very difficult to read. *hides*
Of course, it's a fairly basic font so would making it bigger help or changing the back ground help? X
DeleteIv made a few changes, let me know if your still having problems, thank you for commenting x
DeleteThank you! It's much better now you have made the font a bit bigger. I hope I didn't come across as rude, it's just that my eyesight is not the best and I was having trouble reading the text. Anyway, I hope you are feeling better and wish you well.
DeleteI know whem i worked i was always tired this was when i had 60% lung function. now being on oxygen i couldnt at all. but ehen u havr infection aftet infection its hard to fo anything. so fingers ctossred things start to improve for u.
ReplyDeleteIf my lungs were a perfect match and if it was possible you could have a normal life I 'd let you have one tomorrow, I only need one
ReplyDeleteTake care n don't give up :-)
Thank you, my lungs are doing really great apart from a little infection. Unfortunatly it's the rest of my body that struggling at the moment
DeleteKeep going love reading ur blog, and when I am struggling with my heart condition seen how positive u are all the time helps keep me going xxxx
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear you've not been well Kirstie. Hope things are better by the time you read this comment. You are an inspiration for organ transplants. Just wishing more people would sign up to give those on the list a second chance. Take care. Xx
ReplyDeleteI feel for you Kirstie, fatigue is a natural result of stress and worry. I was concerned after your second transplant that you rushed things, perfectly understandable but I think it did you no good in the long run. What you say about being able to teach when you feel up to it makes sense and I think that it will help. I am glad that your manager did so much for you, you deserved it and he deserves all the plaudits, he will go far in this life if he can keep that humanity going in the hard world of commerce. I hope that you are still in touch with your psychologist, they can really help in this situation. Good luck, God Bless. Kelvin xx
ReplyDeleteNot heard anything from you for a while. Is everything ok?
ReplyDelete