I have had many online friends die, close ones to, the thing is you feel you have no right to grieve over there death, like the friendship you had wasn't real, but it was it was so real, we talked each other through the good and bad, I thought about you when you were going for you appointments I wished and prayed everything would be ok, We talked about things we shouldn't have had to, but yet i never met you. Was it as real for you as i was for me? Do I have the right to cry for you and break down at the thought you are gone, to wish and pray someone made a mistake.
I say my goodbyes, Mostly in quiet, post a piece or to dedicated to you. But feel unable to say how truely rocked to the core i am about your death. How I didn't get to go to your funeral, how I wished I could say a real goodbye, but then if attending your funeral makes it a real good bye and I never even got to meet you in person then was our friendship ever real.
I wonder if anyone gets what I mean, the lack of being able to share in the grief, you feel like you shouldn't like its not you place to cry, that is for the family and real friends, but I know some of them told me things they didnt event tell them.
Is my grief even real then?