Saturday, 7 July 2012

Something on my mind (none transplant or CF related)

I feel so angry today, so hurt and wounded. This is going to be somewhat of a cryptic blog but it’s about my feeling from past events.

I feel angry, angry at the person who created this situation, who wounded my family. The deceit and damage it done, I wish we could all forget and move on. Its not something we dwell on but every now and then, the damage becomes apparent.

I want to scream at them, I wish I could hurt them so badly, in ways I guess people wouldn't think me capable. The destruction is devastating and something that I wonder if it will ever heal.

I’m ok, I can forget, I can escape, but I guess it wasn't me it mainly affected. But today it feels like the pain is piercing me through the heart again. As I was reminded of the hurt, when I realised someone else was still in pain over it all.

Sometimes wounds just don't heal; they close up and are ripped open ever now and then.
I don't know why I have reacted like this, the reminder of the pain was days ago and usually I’m very unaffected by them, cold and almost distant to the fact, its like I forgotten and it all happened to someone else, I guess maybe I thought things had changed and others had moved finally moved on. I just wish I could take there pain away but I can't and that’s the hardest thing.


  1. I know what you mean my sweet one xxx

  2. I have no idea what this is about, but i just want to say it is a good thing what you're doing : letting the anger come out.
    Maybe the hurt becomes less big after that and the ones who are hurt too surely are glad they have your support

  3. Its definitely ok to show your anger and its a healthy emotion,although not always the best feeling at the time .

    I Hope in time this situation does resolve itself ,old wounds and grudges that people carry around are a heavy burden and quite literally can zap us of our much needed energy.
    And steal away precious moments too.

    You may not be able to take the pain away,but you can just keep supporting the person/people hurting.
    Im cetain they appreciate it
    hang in there kirstie