Sunday 5 August 2012

Poorly lungs

Feeling paper thin, weak and tired. My stomach twists and turns. Every fibre of my body feels exhausted, my limbs have become heavy. I curl up, I close my eyes, hoping when I open them again the sickness will be gone and the room will have stopped spinning. I don't remember Meropenum and tobramycn making me feel like this before?

I started IV's for my chest infection, My lungs don't feel any better, constantly coughing, I go from coughing up loads to unable to cough up anything, not because its not there but just because I can't, I can't move the flem, I can't feel where it is, The still foreign feeling of these lungs are there, Its strange as we seem to work so well together, but as soon as they are not well, I feel so un used to them.

Its not getting any better, the sickness, the infection, my body feels so weak, all energy sources feel depleted, despite eating lots the last few days. I cannot eat today, I cannot think of food, just the thought brings my stomach into twists and turns, begging me not to lay food on top of it.

Pain, there are pains, pains in the bottom of my lungs, scar tissue in the lining of my lungs from the operation that's been irritated by the infection, as I take a breath in the sharp knife intrudes deeper.

Reading this you would think it was a pre transplant blog, but its not. I hate feeling like this, I hate writing about it, complaining about it, but well, I still get ill, I just hope this won't last much longer and I will be back to enjoying my life. But for now, I'm going to curl up and watch the Olympics, Inspiration for when I feel better.

18 comments:

  1. I hope u feel better kirstie, I'm sure ur lungs will back on top in no time xoxo

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  2. Hope you soon feel better. I had mero a few weeks ago and felt dreadful for the full 14 days,don't know why its never happened before
    You take care and have plenty of rest xxx

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  3. sending every wish for you to start feeling better asap.
    x x

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  4. I know after transplant infections are a pain to deal with but I guess that has to go hand in hand with the medication. You have probably heard it thousands of times before, but as time goes on, you do get less.

    I know that you had a trach in for a while and with you having some problems moving the stuff on your chest, I wonder if perhaps there maybe some scar tissue inside from the trachea making itself know every now and then. I am sure it would have been picked up, but just thought that it might be worth a mention as tracheal stenosis is something I have struggled with since my transplant.

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    1. Hi Iv actually wondered about this alot, my throat can get really uncomfotable when i have infections like theres a bit of infection sitting there. x

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    2. It took a lot for mine to be diagnosed. I had a liver transplant, but due to lung damage and trauma, I spent a long time in ICU. Both the regular vent and the trach rubbed on my trachea and left scar tissue. For a long time my breathing issues where put down to things like asthma and the damage to my lungs. But as it was explained to me later, scar tissue attracts scar tissue and so this meant that the longer it was left, the more scaring the was and the worse my breathing got. Because my breathing was being silly, it caused lots of infections, but it was all down to the stenosis. I gradually got worse as the scar tissue built up very slowly over a couple of years, until the chest doctors sent me to the ENT doctors. It is easier to treat the quicker it is found so worth looking into. Perhaps if you need another bronch they could get an ENT person in to have a quick look.

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  5. Sending big hugs from New Zealand Katie and wishing you a speedy recovery!

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  6. Kirstie,
    Sending lots of huge wishes across the big pond that you are feeling much better soon.

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  7. Really hope you pick up soon! It's so unusual to read about you feeling poorly which I suppose is pretty amazing - here's to hoping these kind of posts will continue being few and far between. ! Speedy speedy recovery so you can be speedy speedy on the bike again and show them lungs who's boss :-P xxx

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  8. sending you positive, healing thoughts from Los Angeles!!

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  9. I watched your Japanese TV program.
    And you gave lots of courage and love.
    I hope you get better soon, Kirstie.
    Your Japanese fan.

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  10. Hi Kirstie! I hope you are feeling better! Keep your chin up girl! I found your blog today and I LOVE it. I too have CF and have recently started a blog of my own. I invite you to check it out. Hang in there Kirstie!

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  11. Just seen a repeat of Russle Howard which had a small clip about you and had to see how you are..... I hope your doing well x

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    1. Hi im doin amazingly thank you :-) had a bit of a blip when i wrote this blog. :-)

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  12. You are an inspiration Kirsty, a true fighter. My aunt died (aged 12) nearly 35 yrs ago when I was 6mths old, but from what I have been told she enjoyed every minute of her life, and never gave up. My thoughts and prayers are willing a donor to come forwars for you xxx

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    1. Thank you clare. The good news feature was well over a yr ago now i had my transplant in july 11 after being keep alive on life support when i became incredible sick xx

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  13. Krisite,

    You are a champ. Both my wife and me send you a big kiss and a big hug from Israel, hoping you will get better. You are an inspiration for all the people that suffer around the world. We saw the documentary film of your wedding just now (it comes late over here...) and are overwhelmed from you and from your husband. We hope you will get better, do not loose hope!

    Praying from here, take care and hope next time you will write good news!

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  14. Hi Kirstie.
    You are very much an inspiration for me.
    I dont have any family with CF but when my daughter was first born her NBS test came back positive for CF.. thank god it was negative on all other tests but I really appreciate you chronicling your life.
    Stay strong and breath easy.. i will be praying for you and your family that you can fight this.. i know its hard but you are amazing!

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