Monday, 17 October 2011

Gym, Rock climbing, Media and Grief

I have been training hard, hitting the gym for 2-3 hours every other day. I want to be super fit! I want to be at the top of my game with pole and with life. Im teaching a few lessons again now and poling as much as I can although I defently need a Pole training buddy.

Im also rock climbing now, at least once a week, Iv only just started, but did a course on belaying, knots ect so now me and stu go to our local climbing wall exeter Quay climbing! Its amazing really big, lots of different walls and a self belaying system so you can go on your own if you want. So I brought my own harness the other day Its lilac and I love it. Its so exciting.
A bit of bouldering

I was in the express and echo and western morning news on our nomination for love story of the year int he cosmopolitan awards, If we win we will be attending a glamarous event. The Mail on sunday on my documentry which is coming out on the 28th november and is entitled 'Love on the transplant list'.

Coming up

The midweek herald, Chat magazine, Zest magazing (proceeds to LLTGL), bbc radio devon and talk radio euroupe! exciting stuff.

A moment of shere panic and saddness

As I have said Rachael wakefield is very sick and will not be recovering this time. That with a few other friends who are really sick left me in a state of panic and saddness at the gym. I was working out, sweating and really going for it, I suddenly did a fast burst ont he bike and the tears just came running and running and running. I was i a histerical crying fit. I managed to hid it as much as i could and called my mum over who was 2 bikes away. letting lease my feelings of complete helplessness for all my suffering friends. I just couldn't hold it in. I hate how cruel life is and how my firends are dying around me and I simply cannot do anytthing to help them. I composed myself and carried on after 15mintues but there it was, I can't lye to myself Im struggling with grief and helplessness.

I am off my anti depressants and over all I am extremly happy, so happy its beyond belief and I can't say this out burst was anything to do with coming off my anti depressants. It was just an acumilation of grief, which im trying to deal with.

So life over all is good, but im thinking about all my struggling friends out there, love you all.


  1. Wow, I have so got to start getting myself down the Gym, your putting me to shame :)

    Fantastic photos, so glad your enjoying yourself, thanks again for being an inspiration :)


  2. Kirstie you look amazing!! Can't believe how quick the change in health has been for you, although I expected no less from you :)

    The pictures are awesome!!!
    You give me hope for my daughter Sophie and I just hope I can fill her with the strength and determination to enjoy and fight for life as your mum has with you.

    Enjoy every moment :)


  3. Kirstie, as one of the nurses who looked after you in the ITU, I just want to say what a pleasure it was to look after you, and to follow your blog.

    It's always really difficult as a nurse - you're not meant to get attached to your patients and you're not supposed to get emotionally involved, but it is really hard - especially when you look after people on a regular basis, and even more so when a patient is a similar age. I've been known to have a good cry when I've looked after someone, and they haven't made it - equally when they are one of my favourite patient's and they have done really well.

    It's been a real insight (from reading your blog) to know what it is like from a patient's perspective. I won't lie - often, it is tough looking after CF patients because they (and their relatives) know so much more about their own care, and often want to be actively involved. This can be frustrating from a nurse's POV, especially as ITU nurses are so autonomous and like to be independent... A common fault, I'm afraid.

    But, reading your blog has reminded me that, as a nurse, we can make a massive difference to your day. Being stuck in a side room with a moody nurse must be a right downer. We get to go home at the end of a shift - you are stuck in bed all day with 4 walls to look at. So, thank you for reminding me of one of the main reasons I became a nurse in the first place.. To make a difference in someone's life.

    You're a real inspiration.

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