Sitting staring at blank applications forms, trolling through job advert. What do I want to do with my life, now I have it back. Iv never been good at application forms, they fustrate me and overwhelm me. I have this feeling of going nowhere fast. I know im only 2months transplant, that im still healing, the amount I have achieved is enomous, but yet I hunger for more. I knew this would be an issue with me before I even had my transplant, Im such a driven person that even when I am doing loads I feel like im not doing enough. I want to work and I want to work now. I have a rough idea of what i want to do, but feel slightly lost in the fustration of it all. Who will employ me, when i worked I was self employed, so no ones going to want to hire me and there going take one look at my health and think im not capable.
This week Iv been hitting the gym hard and its paying off, 40minutes of cardio on high intensity and all the weights machines with higher wieghts and more reps. But I still don't have the strength to pole.
Kirstie :)) If I could afford to take someone on I would pick you time and time again :)) You know where I am if you need help with application forms etc XX Huge hugs XX
ReplyDeleteYou are so like me about career ha ha I never feel like I'm doing enough!!
ReplyDeleteDon't rush though like you said you're only two months post and to be honest your doc wouldn't allow you to go back to work now even if you had a job. Just relax and it'll come!
Think about how long it took you to learn the moves that you want to do on the pole now. And I bet when you were learning them, you were used to a heck of a lot more physical stuff than you are now. Give it time and it will come back to you. Give your muscles time to relearn. Having to rewalk again and build those muscles in your legs really does wipe you out. When you learn to walk as a baby you begin by crawling, which works the thighs, then walking with the calfs. As an adult learning to walk, you have to do the lot together. It is different, but that doesnt have to be a bad thing.
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