Wedding

In the run up to the wedding I'm finding myself increasingly bizy, there is always little things to do and you soon run out of time, being a not so healthy bride, doing all the little things is really hard. I'm worried It will get to the day and Ill have forgotten something, let alone the worry that I will be really sick. Not only am I attempting to walk down the aisle but I have to come down the stairs of the balcony next to my room and then make it to the aisle. Its a fair distance. If I can't make it Iv decided my dad might just have to literally give me away by carrying me up the aisle first. Lol a sight to see. Iv been told all brides virtually run down the aisle and its far to fast and not in time with the music, at least I won't have that problem. I am going to pace pace pace and before I attempt all this I will be resting on my bi pap for all of the morning.

Also in the run up to the wedding ITV and Documentary team are filming me, ITV west country are keeping updated with my story as they have followed me from the beginning when I went to Harefield for my assessment and hopefully after when I get my transplant. Also the Documentary team are really keen to film all wedding related stuff. Needless to say this is very hectic and I do wonder how I'm coping in doing it all. But It gives me purpose and drive and I feel that's so important at the moment. I just hope it all pays off and people sign the organ donor register.

No wedding related stuff, my peg looks like it will be going ahead, no weight gain at 50.6kg and I just can't keep food down between all coughing. I'm really finding the thought of food most of the time almost repulsive as the feeling of anything in my stomach leaves me bloated and struggling to breath as it pushes my lungs up and squashes them, which also leads to me vomiting. I sometimes get a hunger on and when I do its really nice especially if i manage to not feel sick and bloated. A rare thing. Also in clinic my resting heart rate was 150, i felt very shaky and I get this alot. I hate feeling shaky. Otherwise all conversation was on wedding related things and how to keep me as rested as possible as there worried I'm going to run off adrenaline and burn out in the days after, something I'm pretty sure will happen. Oh and benefits, well that has got no where, more forms and frustration.