Kate Hennessy - it's time we talked

When I met Kate Hennessy in September after my bike ride, I knew we shared a bond, knew things no one else knew. Not only did we both have cf, but we had both been on ecmo and received life saving transplants. At that point no one knew the rough path Kate still had ahead of her and I never knew she would become such a good friend. Kate's path post transplant was very traumatic, infections, surgery and countless days in hospital.
She finally started to get her life back, her smile came back and we all thought that her rough start was coming to an end. Then an infection struck her down within 24 hours she was back on 10 litres of 02 unable to tolerate a bipap and talking invasive ventilation.

I can't tell you how scared I was Tuesday morning as Kate's mum told me she wasn't likely to make the day, that she was being made comfortable and my friend who had already been through so much was going through it all again. I cried and cried that morning, knowing by the time I finished my shift, Kate would probably already be gone. I felt so helpless and scared.

Only Kate didn't die, she once again fought the odds and battled through. On Thursday I went up to clinic and walking into Kate's room, she was already off oxygen! I held her tight and cried so grateful to have her still here and recovering.

Kate's had a hard time post transplant, but I thank her donor everyday, their the reason she is still here, the reason I got to meet someone so amazing and so special. Not only did I meet Kate but her mum to and they are two of the most amazing people!

So I would like you to watch this video on Kate spreading awareness of organ donation and how important it is.

Kate Hennessy - it's time we talked

Please share this video and get people talking about organ donation.



Here is a link to there event Hen fest 2013 please feel free to donate.

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Pole jam with Felix cane

So today me and 2 of my students traveled up to surrey to Taylor's retreat is for a 3 hour ole jam with Felix cane. I knew my lungs being at 45% I would struggle, I'm weak from the high dose prednisalone for my organised pneumonia, as it strips muscle. So I knew I wasn't going to be at the top of my game but I'm so keen to get back to full strength and emerge myself in the world of pole I decided a pole jam with Felix was a amazing opportunity and a chance to see my idol and just simply amazing lady well unmissable right?

So here's some pictures from today.
































































Felix sandwich












It was a awesome day and I realised I'm not as weak as I thought I'd become, that I still have a lot of pole potential that isn't being used and it's my responsibility to make use of it, that I love being upside down whether its pole, hoop or silks!

I had my consultation this week for the fundo operation I will blog about this another day when I have muddled through all my thoughts on it. I have to say it was rather scary and emotional for me and my mum who came with me,


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My surgeon

As he walked along the corridor, an unassuming man in blue, I know his face well, I could never forget that face. My own lights up and he smiles back acknowledging me. This man nearly 2 years ago took a chance and saved my life. Full of heprin, very near death, he operated on me, on what to me seems like the quickest transplant surgeries ever! I have this picture in my mind of him afterwards going back into the surgeons room, or wherever they go and writing the time at the top of the board as if he'd just beaten the top gear fastest track time.

I haven't seen him since transplant in itu and to be honest I wasn't very with it or capable of gratitude. I was just to confused at the time. He asks me how I am, I told him iv got a slight blip, but otherwise I'm pretty amazing, I want to tell him what iv done since transplant, what iv achieved, I try to think of the best thing, to wow him with his own expertise that saved me. He said he saw me ride in on my bike ride, that's it he knows! I simply beam and shake his hand and thank him. To look into the mans eyes and express my gratitude, that was what I've been wanting to do for a long time. A man who dedicated his life to saving others and on 11/7/11 along with the many other people's time, knowledge, expertise, he saved mine.


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Felix cane

I'm not one to follow celebrities, to idolise or be star struck. I admire certain people and think what they've done with the careers is notable but it wouldn't have me weak at the knees. Only one person has ever made me do that and I met her when she came to visit me in hospital. Felix cane. Your probably thinking who? Unless your interested in fitness pole dancing her name isn't greatly known in the wider world, but let me assure you it should be!

I'de had a bronch that morning and just felt ready to take 02 off, in my pjs, no make up and to be honest I couldn't have cared, if I had known my idol was going to walk in then well I might have made more of a effort. My friend Sam Ames from Taylor's retreat was hosting Felix workshops the whole month and I had already expressed how upset I was that I was not well enough to go or to meet her. Shes from australia and travels the world so its not every day you get the chance. Sam walked in on her own which was a nice enough surprise anyway, she gave me a card expressing that Felix was sad we couldn't meet, next thing Felix is there in front if me! I then did the geeky thing, started crying and breathing stupidly! In fact I had to put my 02 back on I was that bad.

I then proceeded to spent a couple of amazing hours chatting with Felix and Sam, in some surreal world. It was crazy.

I'd like to explain why Felix is my idol. She is a world champ at pole, cirque due Soleil performer, you can't even imagine the things she can do on a pole, the strength, grace, skill and beauty of it is something unimaginable. It is something that my whole 6 years poling has inspired me to the core and since meeting her has inspired me to recover so I can train hard and possible achieve one eight of what she does. I really can't describe what her visit did for me and what a huge moral boost it was.

So here's a few pictures of my time with the extremly funny, witty and strangely down to earth women.




















Just a quick health update, I am home and have a consultation in London for the fundo operation Wednesday, I had a bronch last Tuesday which showed I have something called organised pneumonia, it's a inflammatory response that collapses the airways, I'm on 6 weeks treatment of high dose steroids for this, in which I will eat everything in site and become fat and bloated. I don't know if my lungs will recover and I don't know when the operation will be, I may have to wait to the end of this treatment as steroids affect healing. I am still extremely positive but unfortunately also extremely breathless. I guess I didn't really want to do a full update on health as I'm just trying to focus on one thing at a time and not worry about the operation or if ill get any better, I just want to think about trying to getting better.

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Mysterious lung function drop

I guess when you have a lot to say sometimes it can be harder to write it all down. That's where I am right now.

Since coming home from holiday I have been in harefield hospital for over a week. My lung function plummeted from approx 90% to just 47%. With a clear chest and no signs of infection I was bronched ASAP. The bronch came back clear and the hospital started there arsenal of tests. This including my reflux test which I have been waiting to re have. Fundo op It came back positive and now I'm waiting for the operation as an emergency. I have to say part of me still thinks something else is wrong, something's missing. Apparently I have had severe reflux since before transplant when I had my original test, now I know that I had it then, I used to vomit from it constantly and often if I laid down it would spray out my nose but I don't have these symptoms any more. I understand about this silent reflux, due to my nerves being cut at transplant I shouldn't feel it, but surely it should still make me vomit while it runs up my oesophagus, surely it would still run out my nose? And if it's always been bad then why has it done this damage to my lungs now over the space of a week or so while I was on holiday? I'm not saying I don't have reflux and there wrong, I'm sure I probably do but it just seems to not fit in together as it should and I feel that maybe there something else there missing?

So tomorrow I'm being re bronched, possibly looking for a missing link in the story or making sure no infection or rejection set into these now damaged and vulnerable areas of lung.

Will I recover? Well if this is all reflux, after the operation the question is will it all bounce back? Well it seems no one really knows, a small percent recover what they lost as it was only inflammation caused, not full blown lung damage, most, stabilise and the rest? Deteriorate. Iv been given a course of the lovely methyl prednisalone again (high dose steroid :-/) which stops inflammation and unfortunately my lung function didn't budge a smidgin. This makes me worry that my precious lungs are now damaged.

This drop in lung function has left me remarkable breathless and my exercise tolerance is restricted at walking and high levels of focusing on my breathing. At times I cannot walk and talk but others I seem to be ok. I have adjusted remarkably quickly to the change.

What now? Well I have the bronch tomorrow, I wait for this operation and Im working hard, Although it's tough, I have to walk, I have to exercise, iv got to keep moving. This is the only way I will recover quicker from the surgery and the only way to get my lungs stronger. I'm determined to get over this and determined to not let it get me down. My mind is clear and focused on one goal, getting home fit and healthy. Till then nothing else matters because it all becomes insignificant, if I don't recover and don't get better then I will start to lose everything again and that isn't a option.

I am up here without my hubby and without my mum but I'm lucky to have friends and family who have been amazing especially my step mum and dad so thank you to everyone who has expressed there love and support. My mum and stu have decided due to funds and work to come up when I need them most, at the operation. Until then I miss them like crazy and cherish the 6 hour+ journey stu did yesterday to be with me for 9 hours. Although watching him leave was extremely painful and sad.


So I think I will leave the blog there, I will be writing another blog soon on a special visitor I had, my idol. I will also keep everyone as updated as possible. Thank you.


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The honeymoon

This was written on the 14th as I flew out to gran canaria, I had an amazing time and caught a beautiful tan!

As I sit here, I'm on my way to my honey moon. 1year and 10months married and 4 and half years together. Enduring more than most couples. I want to tell you what my marriage means to me. Having been through so much together and had a brilliant documentary made about us, some think that maybe we are the perfect couple? We certainly aren't, like most couple we fight and argue and we have had some extremely tough points as a couple, points where perhaps we've even wondered if we are right together.

As I sit here though, I cannot imagine being without this man and I always said that marriage to me doesn't mean we will be in eternal bliss together a bubble of love. It means fighting through, battling to maintain the love. When you are first together you love each other faults and all, it's easy, you are so wrapped up in the sparkle of the shining new relationship, but marriage mean carrying on when the sparkle is not there to fool you and deflect all your partners fault. It means patience at time, when it is not often there, it means being friends and talking through the faults. If a problem arises you can't just say well that's it it means working through. I have a real beliefs that my marriage will last, like I say not because we're perfect but I hope that we will always want to fight and battle though. Sometimes we have to remind each other of why it's worth fighting for, why we are worthy of the others love. When I sit back and really think about the man I married and why, I remember, his patience for my anger, his kindness, his caring nature that has nursed me and how he knows me, he knows everything about me and loves me because of it and in some ways despite it. His humour and silly nature and how our silly natures fit together. We certainly have this unspoken language that only we share. He is the one person I have In trusted with every piece of knowledge about me, things I would share with no one else. In all of this there is a deep love for each other and in that we find our own eternal bliss not one that was made up in a book but a real one with all the grit and roughness of life. One that far surpasses fiction.

I would also just like to say I love you Stuart and I really do believe if soul mates exist then I cannot believe there's anyone out there who would fit with me more perfectly.


So nearly 2 years since we were married here's our honeymoon and first week away since tx!










































Dedicated to my gorgeous husband.
x
I will be updating on the going ons since I have been back as well it's been eventful in some good and not so good ways.

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The big giveaway

Ok so I'm currently in the process of sorting a blog giveaway. The giveaway is designed for people who spend a lot of time in hospital with a long term illness or have a big admission coming up. It's a hospital survival package! There will be 10 of them, each filled with hospital essentials of the highest quality, things like batiste dry shampoo which they have kindly already donated along with cute mini brushes. There will also be lots of smellys, deodorants, moisturisers, DVDs, sweets, chocolate, massage oils. I'm hoping this will be the most amazing package ever, filled with love and well wishes to who ever receive them.

So to tell you the back story to my project, when I was in hospital before my transplant, my fellow cfer and good friend Elly sent me a mini package filled with little bits and bobs for the admission. It had a note explaining the importance of each item and I have to say it was an amazing idea and gift. Me and Elly discussed the present and said she would like to do it on a larger scale, so I hope she doesn't mind but iv stolen her idea, well not stolen, borrowed. The reason being I put a pack like this together for my friend Kate, she was very ill at the time after having what I describe as a horrible build up to transplant and a very complicated road after. I took the package into her at harefield and was extremely happy when I saw a smile from her, I hope she doesn't mind me say but a rare sight at the time with all she was going through. I'm glad to say Kate is doing much better and I'm forever proud of the smile that pack caused.

So if any companies are reading this, please contact me on kirstietancock@icloud.com if you think you could donate towards helping someone smile. You will certainly make me smile if the generosity shown by batiste was mirrored.

I will put details of how to enter my giveaway at a later date when the packs are all together and I have photos of all the fabulous goodies.

Once again I'd like to thank batiste for restoring my faith in large successful company's and years of service to my hair when I haven't had the strength to wash it.

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