Following on from love on the transplant list here's a documentary by gloustershire universitys Charlotte Miller Kirstie: My New Lungs Please share and help spread awareness for Cyctic fibrosis and Organ Donation.
I really like this doc, I feel it shows me honestly. I hope you like it to.
Showing posts with label second transplant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label second transplant. Show all posts
Monday, 6 April 2015
Monday, 10 February 2014
6 month
Today 6 months ago I received my second double lung transplant. My gratitude to both of my donors is un explainable.
I am so sorry for the family's loss, I hope that in there hearts they can find some peace from such a huge grief. I know that grief doesn't fade or lessen but I hope that maybe through this donation they can find some comfort. With every breath I am thankful for this gift, the gift of life that both my donors have given me. I live every second with the purpose to live it to the full.
For now that is all I can say, I'm planning to write to my second donors family soon.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
I am so sorry for the family's loss, I hope that in there hearts they can find some peace from such a huge grief. I know that grief doesn't fade or lessen but I hope that maybe through this donation they can find some comfort. With every breath I am thankful for this gift, the gift of life that both my donors have given me. I live every second with the purpose to live it to the full.
For now that is all I can say, I'm planning to write to my second donors family soon.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Thursday, 2 January 2014
A years review
Here's an article I wrote for the express and echo.
http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/Kirsite-Tancock-year-review/story-20383633-detail/story.html
AT THE start of this year, I would never have thought it would turn out the way it did.
I set aside my goals for the year. Put together 10 charity hospital packs to go to chronically ill people, buy a house and concentrate on my career and what I wanted to do now I had settled in to life with new lungs. I was working part time at Next, teaching fitness pole dancing and in the best shape of my life.
But things didn’t go to plan, my life did a 360 and I was back at square one.
After a belated honeymoon, I came back to England knowing my health was declining. I was admitted to hospital and diagnosed with chronic rejection.
Nothing could have prepared me for the fight I would have to face and the pain I would endure.
Back on oxygen and non invasive ventilators, I knew time was running out quickly.
By the end of July I was told my only option, a second double lung transplant, was not a possibility. Around me my world was falling apart and I tried to act dignified in the face of my death, knowing my family would be the ones left with the pain of it in the end.
I grieved for the dreams I would never live – my house, my career – but asked my mum and husband Stuart to finish one of my goals for me, the hospital packs, while I tried to do as much as I could in and out of my exhausted haze.
In the corridors of the hospital conversations were being had, phone calls made – my team still working very hard to give me another chance.
The next day I was told I would go back on the list but with little time left and high antibodies the chances seemed impossible. The following day they were proved otherwise – I had a set of lungs. I went down to surgery the next day and received my second double lung transplant.
I could never have imagined these events at the beginning of the year, but even though my life took an unexpected turn still my dreams and goals are coming true.
Recovering well, I bought my first house with my husband Stu, we have renovated and decorated and now have a home; a place to live, love and to enjoy our lives together.
I received an award from the Express and Echo for hero of the year showing me that my campaigning is being recognised and hopefully making a difference. I finished the hospital packs and they were sent out to 10 deserving people.
I was able to give them a small piece of happiness in their dark times and I’m truly humbled that I could do that.
One of them was a great friend and fellow advocate for the charity I work for, he had supported me through my rejection as he was also in rejection.
Sadly, he passed away before he received the pack. In my life this is a common occurrence, saying goodbye to friends too young to die, who have suffered greatly in their lives.
So although my life continues and I am truly blessed, this year has shown me that my campaigning is still vitally important as although I was lucky still my friends are dying around me.
I look forward into the new year, hoping 2014 may bring a dramatic difference to people waiting on the transplant list. I’m starting to make new goals and hoping that 2014 will be the year I can make my way into a career that fulfils my ambition and lust for life.
All thanks to a stranger I will never know, a person I can never thank. But I send my thanks up to heaven for them and for my first donor.
Read more: http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/Kirsite-Tancock-year-review/story-20383633-detail/story.html#ixzz2pHK3cl9m
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/Kirsite-Tancock-year-review/story-20383633-detail/story.html
AT THE start of this year, I would never have thought it would turn out the way it did.
I set aside my goals for the year. Put together 10 charity hospital packs to go to chronically ill people, buy a house and concentrate on my career and what I wanted to do now I had settled in to life with new lungs. I was working part time at Next, teaching fitness pole dancing and in the best shape of my life.
But things didn’t go to plan, my life did a 360 and I was back at square one.
After a belated honeymoon, I came back to England knowing my health was declining. I was admitted to hospital and diagnosed with chronic rejection.
Nothing could have prepared me for the fight I would have to face and the pain I would endure.
Back on oxygen and non invasive ventilators, I knew time was running out quickly.
By the end of July I was told my only option, a second double lung transplant, was not a possibility. Around me my world was falling apart and I tried to act dignified in the face of my death, knowing my family would be the ones left with the pain of it in the end.
I grieved for the dreams I would never live – my house, my career – but asked my mum and husband Stuart to finish one of my goals for me, the hospital packs, while I tried to do as much as I could in and out of my exhausted haze.
In the corridors of the hospital conversations were being had, phone calls made – my team still working very hard to give me another chance.
The next day I was told I would go back on the list but with little time left and high antibodies the chances seemed impossible. The following day they were proved otherwise – I had a set of lungs. I went down to surgery the next day and received my second double lung transplant.
I could never have imagined these events at the beginning of the year, but even though my life took an unexpected turn still my dreams and goals are coming true.
Recovering well, I bought my first house with my husband Stu, we have renovated and decorated and now have a home; a place to live, love and to enjoy our lives together.
I received an award from the Express and Echo for hero of the year showing me that my campaigning is being recognised and hopefully making a difference. I finished the hospital packs and they were sent out to 10 deserving people.
I was able to give them a small piece of happiness in their dark times and I’m truly humbled that I could do that.
One of them was a great friend and fellow advocate for the charity I work for, he had supported me through my rejection as he was also in rejection.
Sadly, he passed away before he received the pack. In my life this is a common occurrence, saying goodbye to friends too young to die, who have suffered greatly in their lives.
So although my life continues and I am truly blessed, this year has shown me that my campaigning is still vitally important as although I was lucky still my friends are dying around me.
I look forward into the new year, hoping 2014 may bring a dramatic difference to people waiting on the transplant list. I’m starting to make new goals and hoping that 2014 will be the year I can make my way into a career that fulfils my ambition and lust for life.
All thanks to a stranger I will never know, a person I can never thank. But I send my thanks up to heaven for them and for my first donor.
Read more: http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/Kirsite-Tancock-year-review/story-20383633-detail/story.html#ixzz2pHK3cl9m
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Thursday, 10 October 2013
Is it ok to want more?
Living with cystic fibrosis I always thought as a child and teenager I would be ready to die when death came. That I would be tired of the fight for life and ready to role over and let death happen. How naive I was. Me and my best friend Lou were on our way back from London yesterday and while we were driving along we started to talk about my transplant, as I often do at the moment. It's my way of unpicking at the seems of life, rummaging through the memory's, deciphering the codes in my head left from the trauma of it all. Because when your told your dying, when your so poorly you can barely stay awake, your brain starts to loose pieces of information along the way. It's like it decides what it can deal with and starts to throw out all the other stuff until you are back on the road to recovery and then you start to find all these lost memory's.
Memory's such as ringing my nan and telling her I wasn't going to get a second transplant and I wasn't going to make it. Nothing can prepare you for that conversation, not even your delusions as a teen that when death came you would be ready. Starting to relive those memory's, it's so painful, so raw, it's like going through them for the first time because each time you remember something else and it's all new again, the pain slices through you and the tears sweep my face.
I can only just remember the howling cry of my brother, even as I write about it, it feels so fresh so new and I want to reach Into my memory and wrap my arms around him And tell him how it all turns out ok.
I still don't remember all those conversations I made to so many of my close friends and family that day. I wonder if they will ever come back, part of me hopes they will stay hidden. Am I ever ready to deal with these moments of pain. There are still things I cannot remember from my first transplant and i am sure if they were to come back to me they wouldn't benefit me in anyway, they are hidden some where in the deep fog of protection, possibly just dropped out of my brain forever never to be found.
There is something else I have learnt from this experience, not only am I not ready to die but I'm finally ready to live. Now this may sound confusing for everyone, iv never shied away from life or walked away from an experience to be had but iv never thought I wanted to live to be old, joked about the fact I don't want wrinkles and simply thought that 50, 60 or 80 sounds to old. Sorry for those who are that age, but being young those ages do sound so old to me. Until the penny dropped, stu said to me today about sorting out his retirement fund. My reaction was to well up, I want to be there! I want to be with him when he retires, sending him off down the golf club in the day while I natter away to my friend Lou and go to the spa or some retirement like leisurely thing!
This may sound selfish of me, it does to me. It sounds like I'm simply wanting to much and I should just be grateful for every day I get, god I promise you I am. Sometimes though I catch myself wanting more and hoping I never have to relive those conversations with my friends, not just in my memory's but in real life.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Memory's such as ringing my nan and telling her I wasn't going to get a second transplant and I wasn't going to make it. Nothing can prepare you for that conversation, not even your delusions as a teen that when death came you would be ready. Starting to relive those memory's, it's so painful, so raw, it's like going through them for the first time because each time you remember something else and it's all new again, the pain slices through you and the tears sweep my face.
I can only just remember the howling cry of my brother, even as I write about it, it feels so fresh so new and I want to reach Into my memory and wrap my arms around him And tell him how it all turns out ok.
I still don't remember all those conversations I made to so many of my close friends and family that day. I wonder if they will ever come back, part of me hopes they will stay hidden. Am I ever ready to deal with these moments of pain. There are still things I cannot remember from my first transplant and i am sure if they were to come back to me they wouldn't benefit me in anyway, they are hidden some where in the deep fog of protection, possibly just dropped out of my brain forever never to be found.
There is something else I have learnt from this experience, not only am I not ready to die but I'm finally ready to live. Now this may sound confusing for everyone, iv never shied away from life or walked away from an experience to be had but iv never thought I wanted to live to be old, joked about the fact I don't want wrinkles and simply thought that 50, 60 or 80 sounds to old. Sorry for those who are that age, but being young those ages do sound so old to me. Until the penny dropped, stu said to me today about sorting out his retirement fund. My reaction was to well up, I want to be there! I want to be with him when he retires, sending him off down the golf club in the day while I natter away to my friend Lou and go to the spa or some retirement like leisurely thing!
This may sound selfish of me, it does to me. It sounds like I'm simply wanting to much and I should just be grateful for every day I get, god I promise you I am. Sometimes though I catch myself wanting more and hoping I never have to relive those conversations with my friends, not just in my memory's but in real life.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Saturday, 7 September 2013
Recovering
I have had a short break from my blog, so I apologise to those who have asked for updates. The reason for my break was to take time to heal, reflect and recover. Although I'm writing this it certainly doesn't mean I have finished that process, post transplant recovery take months, some say your not recovered physically for about a year, emotionally I guess everyone is different, but I don't know if we ever truly recover from near death experiences although they do get put to one side and for us to carry on life in the most 'normal' way possible. As I said in a previous blog before my chronic rejection set in I felt the most recovered and 'normal' as I would ever get. Now my goal is to get back to that and rushing emotional recovery isn't something I would ever do.
So where am i now? I am out of hospital I have been for a week and a day, it's been 4 weeks today since my transplant, 4 weeks since some stranger once again gave me the gift of life, 4 weeks and some where there is a family out there grieving, please think of them and wish them peace and my donor rest peacefully in heaven.
I am at my nans with my husband while I recover and we look for a house, our first house to buy. It's so exciting and at the same time scary, it's such a huge decision when looking at houses whether we are going to pick the right one for us. I can't tell you how happy I am that I have such a normal worry such as buying a house!
Physically I am weak, but no where near as weak as I was the first time, but still I have a way to go, I am walking lots and sometimes I forget to rest in between, my mind thinks I can just go back to how things were before, my body is in need of time, but I know we will get there.
Finally I just want to take a minute to thank you, thank all of you who have supported me, helped my hospital packs in the last few months which will be ready to go out for Christmas. I have been buying lots of fun crafty things and exciting goodies for them and it has provided me with much needed distraction from myself and my own situation. I want to thank everyone who had donated to the packs and to the fund which my friend set up for me personally, I have no Idea what I will spend that on, but I will put it to good use. I also want to thank all the lovely people who sent me cards, present and simple messages of encouragement. These message in those hours of darkness brightened my day and on good days widened my smile. Simple things have such a great effect and I cannot thank everyone enough.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
So where am i now? I am out of hospital I have been for a week and a day, it's been 4 weeks today since my transplant, 4 weeks since some stranger once again gave me the gift of life, 4 weeks and some where there is a family out there grieving, please think of them and wish them peace and my donor rest peacefully in heaven.
I am at my nans with my husband while I recover and we look for a house, our first house to buy. It's so exciting and at the same time scary, it's such a huge decision when looking at houses whether we are going to pick the right one for us. I can't tell you how happy I am that I have such a normal worry such as buying a house!
Physically I am weak, but no where near as weak as I was the first time, but still I have a way to go, I am walking lots and sometimes I forget to rest in between, my mind thinks I can just go back to how things were before, my body is in need of time, but I know we will get there.
Finally I just want to take a minute to thank you, thank all of you who have supported me, helped my hospital packs in the last few months which will be ready to go out for Christmas. I have been buying lots of fun crafty things and exciting goodies for them and it has provided me with much needed distraction from myself and my own situation. I want to thank everyone who had donated to the packs and to the fund which my friend set up for me personally, I have no Idea what I will spend that on, but I will put it to good use. I also want to thank all the lovely people who sent me cards, present and simple messages of encouragement. These message in those hours of darkness brightened my day and on good days widened my smile. Simple things have such a great effect and I cannot thank everyone enough.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
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